Travel Approval!!!

Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens,

Your faithfulness to the clouds.

Your righteousness is like the mountains of God;

Your judgments are like the great deep;

man and beast You save, O Lord.

How precious is Your steadfast love, O God!

The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of Your wings.

They feast on the abundance of Your house,

and You give them drink from the river of Your delights.

For with you is the fountain of life; in Your light do we see light.

Oh, continue Your steadfast love to those who know You,

and Your righteousness to the upright of heart!

-Psalm 36:5-10 ESV

We are heading to China!!! We got our Travel Approval on Tuesday, and we got a confirmed Consulate Appointment at 1AM this morning (b/c the amazing staff at our agency does not sleep)!! Lord-willing, on 11/11, we will hold our Becca Fei for the very first time! We will finally get to hear her voice and study her little hands and feet. We will be able to try to comfort her as she grieves all that is changing. We will start to teach her about our great God and who we are as a family. Her family. And the world will have one less orphan. Praise Jesus!

Last weekend, our sweet sisters from church threw Becca Fei the most beautiful "toddler" shower I've ever seen. These ladies down here in the South sure know how to plan a party!! The ladies of our church truly value and praise Jesus for every human life, and they throw a celebration for every single child that joins our church family through birth or adoption. One tradition our church ladies have at the end of every shower is to surround the mother and spend some serious time in prayer. The prayers that were sent up to God that day - on behalf of our family - brought me to tears. Overflowing, grateful tears. We are so thankful to God for the church family and community He has brought us to!

After abundant blessings from our church family and friends, 

we now have Becca Fei's room all ready!

I've only been awake for two hours, but my cheeks are already feeling the burn
from the perma-smile plastered onto my face!!!
Hence, the overuse of exclamation points!!!!! Get used to it, folks!!

God is SO faithful!!! 

What To Expect

The latest on the adoption front: our Article 5 wait has been delayed one week because of a Chinese national holiday, so we are expecting our wait for Travel Approval (Step 13 below!) to begin on Tuesday or Wednesday of next week! We’ll keep you posted on that.

I am trying to heed the advice of our agency and treasure this next month or so. For, it is a gift. It truly is. Each and every day. Things are about to drastically change in this family of ours, and I want to enjoy every last moment as a family of four. I want to pour into Sydney and Brody until their cups overflow. I want to enjoy date night and six hours of uninterrupted sleep with the hubster. It’s most likely going to be a while before we return to a state of normalcy ‘round these parts. Let me explain.

In earlier posts, I’ve alluded to the fact that we’ll be working on bonding/attachment. Through the training and reading we’ve done, we have learned SO many fascinating things about how God has designed babies! Attachment between a parent and child occurs over time when a baby has a need, communicates that need and then has it met by a consistent caretaker (usually Momma Bear). As Momma repeatedly soothes the child and meets his/her needs, safety and trust are developed. This security forms an emotional foundation for learning, development, growth and future relationships. These children have a foundation for trust and empathy towards others.

Children who come home through adoption have a little different journey. They have already experienced the loss of a biological parent(s), whether through death or other means. They are coming from a very traumatic place. In addition, our Becca will be losing her caretakers from her current orphanage, along with the familiar sights, smells and language of China. Since she is 3, she is going to be keenly aware of all these differences. We are expecting our little one to be quite overwhelmed. She will be taking in so much that is new, as well as learning what a family is and what it means to be a part of one. She may struggle with attachment, security and trust for several months (or more). There is good news, though! Children are able to heal from these emotional wounds. They are able to build attachment, but it takes intentionality and time.

The very best way for us to form a parent/child bond is for Josh and I to be the only ones to hold, snuggle, instruct, soothe and feed Becca for the first several months. As this pattern repeats, she will learn that we are her parents, and she can trust and love us. I know this is not going to be easy – for us or all of you that will want to hold her and love on her as soon as we get home! We have never parented this way, so it’s going to be a challenge for us to have to tell so many folks ‘no’ when they want to hold her. But, research shows that it’s very important to recreate the newborn/parent connection. Once that parent/child bond has been formed, then we’ll be able to take baby steps toward other relationships. We’ve been advised to make life as boring as possible for the first few months – lots of routine, lots of time in our home, and very limited social activities. Please understand that our decisions are based on what we truly believe is best for Becca’s healing and long-term development, backed up by research and advice from adoption mentors. Also, remember this is temporary! Once we’ve reached some attachment milestones, we will be out and about!

We want all of you to know what to expect when we get home, as well as what would be appropriate/beneficial in terms of your interaction with Becca. Our agency has given us some tips for Do’s & Don’ts for family and friends, and we’d like to share them with you below.

DO’S

• PRAY!! Pray for Becca’s transition, as well as the rest of our family. Pray for a deep attachment. Pray that we will not lose our sanity, as we cocoon! I am an on-the-go sort of mom. I start to go bonkers after two straight days in the house, so this is going to be a BIG challenge for me.
• Encouragement: Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to give an adoptive family space. You can still express care through cards, a meal, emails, etc. We just won’t be throwing any parties for a while (at least after the airport party)!
• Direct Becca to us. For example, “let’s ask your mom if that’s OK” or “I bet your daddy would like that; why don’t you show him?”
• Care for Sydney and Brody. This is going to be tough for them. They will also be transitioning and will need attention and encouragement. Make them feel special and important.
• Read and educate yourself about attachment parenting and share this with others. Heck, even with us! We’re still learning!

DON’TS

• Physical interaction with Becca: Children coming from orphanage settings can be prone to attach too easily with anyone and everyone. This hinders the important child/parent bond from developing. For a while, Josh and I need to be the only ones holding her. We ask that you do not try to take her from us or excessively give hugs and kisses. You may give her quick hugs and kisses, while she remains in our arms. Waving, blowing kisses, high fives are totally appropriate and welcomed! We want Becca to know you are trusted family and friends.
• Meeting her needs: Children from orphanages can become overly charming toward adults as a survival mechanism. We want to avoid this indiscriminate attachment/affection, as it would really set back our family bonding and can have far-reaching affects as she grows older. If Becca needs food, a drink, affection, or comfort, please allow Josh and I to meet those needs. This is necessary for her to begin understanding that we are her parents.
• Gifts: If you want to give a gift to Becca, please ask us first. We’ve been advised to give her all gifts from our hands for the first few months home.
• Comparisons: Please do not compare to biological parenting. Attachment parenting is, in many ways, opposite of traditional parenting. Please trust and respect our choices.
• Assumptions: Don’t assume Becca is “relieved,” “grateful” or “excited” that she’s been adopted. This is a life-altering difficult transition for many of these children.

Our family, friends and community have been such a blessing to us throughout this entire process. We have felt so supported and prayed over. We in NO way want our distance/boundaries to be taken personally or be surprising to any of you. That’s why I wanted to write this blog post. I hope it is helpful to you! Let me know if you have any questions!

Becca's Final Update

Everything is moving along!! Tomorrow, we expect our Article 5 to be dropped off in China, and we'll wait exactly two weeks for that process. Then we'll begin our wait for Travel Approval (TA) from the CCCWA. That should only take a few weeks, and then we'll get our Consulate Appointment and start booking all our travel!! Josh and I could be traveling in just 6 weeks or so!! We're getting really anxious, obviously, but we are trying to stay busy and enjoy each precious day that we have from the Lord. We know there are significant challenges ahead and probably many sleepless nights in the near future, so we're trying to prepare ourselves (and Sydney and Brody) as much as possible. We were able to get a letter to Becca last month. I hope it made sense to her, and I pray that she is getting lots of chances to get familiar with our faces through the photo album we sent a while back. We expect this to be a really tough transition for her. She is 3 years old, and institutionalized living is all she has ever known. She is not going to understand what a family is and will have absolutely NO idea what we are saying in English. We expect she will experience a grieving period, as she leaves the people who have cared for her this past year and the kids she has lived with for so long. We don't expect her to understand that life is about to change for the better, as she enters a forever family. As far as she knows, we are going to be two strangers who don't look like her and don't speak her language. So, please pray with us for Becca and our family as we enter a time of VERY intentional bonding and attachment. I have no doubt that God is going to do great things, because that is what our great God does! In Sydney's own words from tonight, "Something bad happens, and then BOOM! God just turns in right around." Beauty from ashes. I am so excited to see God transform the life and story of our precious Becca Fei, and we are just so thrilled to be first-hand witnesses! 

This afternoon we were SO excited to receive our final update from Becca's orphanage (final, what a beautiful word)!! This included her measurements so we have an idea of what size clothes and shoes to bring for her, as well as a couple of new pictures!! 

Is she not the most precious girl you've ever seen?!? Granted, I may be a little biased, but seriously...she is TOO CUTE! This is the first picture we've ever seen of her in a dress. ;) So sweet, even though I am really not a dress kinda girl. Be on the look out for more exciting news in the coming weeks!! Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement!!! We love you all!! 

Wonderful Deeds

"I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart;

I will recount all Your wonderful deeds.

I will be glad and exalt in You;

I will sing praises to Your name, O Most High."

Psalm 9:1

God is SO good. All the time. On our mountain tops and down in our deepest valleys. He is present, He is sovereign and He is purposeful. In joyful news of progress and in the long waiting, He has been with us and has done wonderful deeds. Our family has SO much to recount and praise Him for. As we wait on our I-800 approval and move closer to traveling, I am taking some time to reflect on this past year and what He has done. 

1. HIS PROVISION. God has stretched us in this area, but He has been faithful to provide our needs every step of the way. At one point last year, we had a payment coming up and did not have the funds. We literally had $12 in our checking account and our "Adoption Fund" savings account did not have enough to cover the payment that was due in a couple of weeks. I was beginning to worry, when we got a "surprise" check for an overpayment that we made when we closed on our house almost a year prior. Why do I worry, when I know that His eye is on the sparrow?? The check gave us enough funds to make that next payment! We dug our heels in and worked hard at fundraising, and God has rewarded us greatly. We are now almost fully funded for this adoption!!! Praise the Lord! For those curious, here's the breakdown of how God has provided the necessary funds:

Grants (incl. matching)  $8,000 Our personal funds  9,000 Wolfe Benefit Night  3,200 Paypal/cash donations  2,600 Garage/book sales  2,280 Sponsor-a-Block Quilt  900 RB jewelry  690 Other  450 Total raised  $27,120

2. GENEROSITY OF OTHERS. Fundraising...ugh...I DREADED the thought of it. But God turned our financial weakness into a glorious display of the generosity He has called His church to. Our community of friends and family - both those out of town and our local church family - GAVE. You gave generously and consistently. Once you knew of our need, you stepped in and cheerfully met it. Adoption is costly, but as the church grows to understand the corporate and individual call to care for orphans worldwide and then gives financially toward that mission...more families will be able to fulfill this call God has placed on their lives. Our largest fundraiser (and the most fun) was a Benefit Dinner, Silent Auction and Scavenger Hunt back in June. It recently dawned on me that I never blogged about our benefit!! Oops. I only posted about it on Facebook. There were SO many people that played an important role in making that fundraiser a success; the total amount raised was over $3,000!! Some extremely gracious, hard-working, talented folks from our church stepped up and put together the night for us - Karen Allen (catering), Mary Schneider (silent auction), Erin Richardson (scavenger hunt), Dave & Cathy Ocasek (venues) and Jeremy & Allie Brannon (childcare). Then there were all the folks who came, setup, donated goods, bid, watched kids, cleaned up, etc. Here is a link to the album of pictures from the night - SO MUCH FUN!! 

3. HIS CHOICE. When Josh and I first began looking at the Waiting Children lists, it was tough. I felt like I could be drawn to any number of these precious children, and we did not know what to expect. Would we "just know" when we saw her face? There were a few children that Josh and I requested more information on, and we took time to look through their files and pray for God's direction and choice. We received some great advice from our Lifeline Adoption Buddy and our Social Worker about the process. One morning, Josh called me from work and said "Yep, this is her. Let's move forward and see if God confirms or puts up a roadblock." We were not yet "logged in" with China, but in order to be matched with her, we had to be. Becca's file was set to go back to the Shared List before we would be logged in, and she would likely have been matched with another family at that point. Our agency requested an extension for us, and we received it just in time! I am talking literally days. We have fallen head over heals in love with this precious little girl that we now call Becca Fei!!

4. COMMUNITY. Thinking of our local church just brings me to tears. We LOVE our church family. They have been behind us 110% since we started this adoption journey. Our neighbors, our family, our friends, our agency, all the adoption folks we've met on the web....oh my goodness. God has shown up time and time again in this web of people we call our community! It seems like I can't leave the house anymore without God bringing someone into my path that is somehow tied to adoption!! It has been SO encouraging and uplifting. Just this week, I have connected with two moms who have little ones also waiting at Becca's orphanage!! The one mom and I even have pictures of our kids sitting right next to each other eating cake at Becca's birthday party that we threw! It's been so neat to see God connect so many dots in this process. Makes me smile ear to ear. 

5. HIS CARE. It is hard to live each day knowing that your child is not with you, but is instead living in institutionalized care half a world a way. To know that she needs medical care she isn't able to get and you can't yet provide it to her. But, God has given us peace in a variety of ways. First, we know that our little girl is first a child of God. He knows her needs and her hurts. He knows her heart. And He loves her more than is humanly possible. We have a peace that God is working to prepare her to join our family during this wait. He has a purpose and a plan, and He is for her. Second, we are blessed to know that Becca is in one of the nicest orphanages in the world! This is the second orphanage she has lived in, but we've seen pictures of the daytime facilities at this orphanage, which look similar to a daycare you would see in the U.S. That is a comfort to this Momma's heart. Lastly, she has already received some tangible care. Some of you have asked about Becca's special needs. She was born with cleft lip and palate, and also has some vision care needs. Her cleft lip was repaired when she was 18 months old through the Tomorrow Plan, but she will still need several surgeries when she gets home. But, we have learned that Atlanta has one of the most experienced craniofacial teams in the U.S.!! Oh, how wondrous God's care is!! And so many times, God's care comes through our obedience. So cool. As some of you know, our two bio kids require glasses, and Brody's eye doc happens to be Chinese. I cannot wait to take Miss Becca to see him!!! We will also have bonding, language and development to work on when she arrives home, and I LOVE that stuff. Bonding will be our first priority - more to come on that. I can't wait to get started!! ;) Our expectation is that Becca does not know a word of English, will definitely need speech therapy and is likely at about 18 months developmentally, due to being in institutionalized care for most of her life. Much to do, and I am so looking forward to seeing God work in all these areas.

God is SO good. I realize this is getting long, so let me cut to the chase for today...Praise Jesus with us! These next couple months before we travel, there are A LOT of things to take care of...I-800 approval, Article 5, Travel Approval, Consulate Appointment, travel vaccinations, travel planning and booking, wiring funds, getting Becca's room ready, etc. I have a feeling there are LOTS of all-nighters to come. Please continue in prayer for Becca and for our family, praising God for His goodness to us and praying for continued energy, heart preparations, protection, His perfect timing and a smooth process! We are so thankful to be surrounded with so much love and support!! As always, I am overflowing with gratitude. 

Say what?!?

This is what the mantle at the Wolfe house looks like today....do you notice those 3 little letters?!?!

We got a call from our social worker today that our agency received the hard copy of our LOA (Letter of Acceptance) from China today!! This was MUCH faster than we were expecting, since it has only been 47 days since we received PA. What's next, you ask? We will be waiting for USCIS to process our I-800, so the US Consulate in GZ can access our immigration approval and file and Becca's visa will be getting processed. Then we'll begin waiting for TA (Travel Approval). Got all that? ;) At this point, our best guess is that we could travel in just 2-3 months to bring Becca Fei home!! 

Earlier this month, we sent a photo album to her orphanage, so that she can begin getting familiar with our faces. I am so grateful that she now knows she has a family, and that we are coming for her!! Please be praying that God would continue to prepare her heart, and that the photo album might help Becca to recognize us and ease with her transition. (You can also pray that Brody gets potty trained...just throwing that out there. He will not go to K in diapers, he will not go to K in diapers, he will not go to K in diapers. OK, now I feel better.)

On a more serious note, there are families that we know going through this China adoption process who have been waiting three times as long as us for their LOAs. My heart just aches for these sisters and brothers, but I hold onto the hope that God holds time in His hands and has a purpose for His glory and their good. Please join our family in praying for these blessed families that God will sustain them until the appointed time when they are able to bring their little lambs home!

Introducing...

We are so excited to introduce you all to our precious little Rebecca Fei (aka Becca)....

We have officially been matched!!! I just don't have too many words right now, but we are just praising God over here in the Wolfe household! We have been waiting over a month to hear whether we had preliminary approval to adopt her, and we got the news this morning! Becca, here's a song for you, darling...praying that you would know you are oh so loved!!

"You weren't an accident. You weren't mass produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on the earth by the Master Craftsman." - Max Lucado

Press On & Wait

Here's the latest, folks! Our family received our Log-In Date (LID) from China on May 24th! Several weeks ago, Josh and I were praying and looking at lists of children who are ready and waiting for a family in China. There was a little girl we requested more information about, and we have sent in our Letter of Intent (LOI) for this precious little one! We're so excited to see if this is God's plan - if this is the daughter God is going to place in our family. The China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA) is the body that oversees the adoption of Chinese children. The CCCWA put a new database in place right after we sent our dossier to China. Unfortunately, there have been a lot of kinks needing ironed out with the new database, and everything has pretty much stalled at this point. Once things are up and running again, we hope to hear that we have Preliminary Approval (PA) for the little girl who God has laid on our hearts. Normally, PA is received about two weeks after the LOI is submitted; our LOI showed up in the system on June 7th, but with the database complications - we aren't sure when to expect to hear from China. We trust that God is sovereign over the timing and the outcome, so we press on, abide in our Refuge and wait! At this point, we know that we are (at the very least) to be praying for this child...so we will do what we know! Please pray with us (as we try to hold on to our sanity through this wait)! 

I have been working like crazy getting ready for our final fundraiser - see details on the sidebar! The event is this Saturday, and I am SO excited about how it is coming together! There will be a catered dinner, silent auction and scavenger hunt - thanks to several amazing people from our church family!! I can't wait to post about the event - hopefully next week! If you can't make it -- feel free to check out the Facebook album of silent auction items and then message me if you are interested in placing a proxy bid. We also got word last week that we received a matching grant, which is HUGE for us!! Praise God - He just continues to grow our trust in Him and His mighty provision!

The kids and I are enjoying a "low-key" summer, and we've started working on getting our daughter's room ready. We also wanted to share that we are planning to name our daughter Rebecca (and call her Becca). Rebecca was my great-grandmother's name and is my middle name. That side of my family actually used to call me Becca when I was younger. I have always loved the name, and I can't wait to pass it along! Becca's quilt "Treasured" was featured in a quilt show over the weekend (along with 350 others!), which was really fun. My Mom and I got the chance to tell several ladies our adoption story, too. Here's a couple pictures from the show! Thank you to all who sponsored a block! Hope you all are enjoying the summer so far!

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91:1-2, ESV)