The Little Ones

In the wake of the brutal and evil attack in Newtown, CT, the internet swirls with opinions about gun control, school safety, mental health, and the sovereignty of God. As a parent of a kindergartener at a public school, I have been imagining the events as if they happened to me and to my little Sydney. I was at Sydney’s school when the massacre took place. I see these precious children’s faces several times a week, and I just love them. My stomach churns, my gut aches, my spirit groans. Can we just stop and mourn with these families? I understand there are important topics that must be addressed and should be discussed, but can we not hurt and weep with these parents first? I am reminded of Jesus’ response when he arrived at Lazarus’ grave in John 11. He knew He was to raise Lazarus from the dead, but He was still deeply moved with those mourning and He wept. Those of us who are Christians understand that these children have hope in Christ, but we still weep at the temporary sting of death. Psalm 34:18 is an encouragement to us, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” I have not parented a child for 6 years and then lost him, but I know the Lord has comforted my broken heart when I have been crushed, and He gives His children unfailing hope, unconditional peace and miraculous comfort. Please join me in continuing to pray for these families, as well as cherishing and honoring the children in our own lives. May we love and cherish all children from conception to the grave.

John Piper once wrote, “How we deal with children is a signal of our fellowship with God. Something is deeply amiss in the soul that does not descend (or is it really ascend?) to love and hold a child.” Our family devotions this month have been Advent-themed, and we have been talking about a different name of Jesus every night. We wrote them out on stars and have been putting one up each night above a manger cutout. I think about Immanuel, God with us, our greatest example. How did Jesus respond to children, and is our attitude towards them in line with his? Christ humbled Himself and came as an infant, He took children in His arms and blessed them (Mark 10:14-16), He healed a little girl (Matt. 15:28), cast a demon out of a little boy (Matt. 17:18), raised a little girl from the dead (Mark 5:41-42), and accepted a boy’s ordinary gift of loaves and fishes, then feeding a multitude with them (John 6:9-10). It’s clear in Scripture that Jesus loved children and children loved Him. The Bible encourages us to become like children (Matt. 18:3-4), and each day as I watch my children – I am humbled by this. They are so innocent, so energetic, so magical in their thinking. They are strong, they are full of life, they are curious. They trust unwaveringly, they forgive easily, they laugh and cry often. They enjoy their Creator and all that He has made for them. They find joy in the smallest of things and have eyes widened with wonder at the mysteries that surround them. All the while, they are acutely aware of their great neediness. My children know that they mess up A LOT. They know that they need someone to care for them. They are eager to learn, because they realize they don’t have all the answers. They feel the pain of others in a way I have forgotten. Is it any wonder we are called to be like these?

This morning, I was re-reading a blog entry called “10 Resolutions for Mental Health” that John Piper wrote to honor a teacher of his, and I think it is generally good advice for all of us. If you have time, please read it. So many of the resolutions encourage us to become like children once again. Mommies, put down your dishtowels today and stare at your children. Daddies, hide the remote control and wrestle with your kids. And if you don’t have children of your own, God has still placed children in your life for you to minister to and to learn from. Jesus never married or had children, but oh how he loved the little ones! Let us fiercely love the children in our lives, and let us fight for those who are unwanted and unloved. May we have a deeper appreciation and a greater love for our Savior this year, as we celebrate His first coming in the form of a child. Our family wishes you a very Merry CHRISTmas!

So Grateful

Last week, Josh and I had our individual interviews for our home study. These are the interviews for which we wrote our autobiographies. Forcing myself to sit down and walk through my past was so beneficial. I was reminded of all the people God has used in my life, as well as many of the lessons He has taught me along the way. The process made me so thankful for my upbringing. My parents aren’t perfect, but both of them have pointed me to Jesus and encouraged me in my faith. For that, I am eternally grateful. (So, thanks Mom & Dad!) Now, Josh and I are beginning our adoption education courses! I’m really excited for this part! Once we complete those items, we’ll meet with our social worker again.

On the fundraising front, there are a few things to mention. First off, we just want to say thank you to all of you who have supported us through your prayers, your encouragement and your giving. We are continually blessed by you all! Secondly, I have begun to collect gently used books to sell online as a fundraiser. So, if you have any collecting dust on your shelves or would be willing to do a mini book drive for us, it would be greatly appreciated! We are going to be having another garage sale fundraiser in a couple months, so if you have anything – we’ve already got a good pile going in our basement!  We’re hoping to do an adoption t-shirt fundraiser in the near future too. I’ll keep you posted on that. Another new fundraiser we’ve begun is through a wonderful Christian company called Just Love Coffee. A portion of the proceeds from every purchase made through the Just Love link on our blog (see the sidebar) will go directly toward our adoption costs! Please share the link with your friends too. The coffee is really good, and the company is truly the kind we want to support. Check out this video to learn more about how they do business!

If you are like me, you spent a fair amount of time this month thinking about gratitude and giving. One thing our family did this year was to make a “thankfulness tree.” Each night at dinner we wrote things that we were thankful for on a leaf that was added to the tree. It was such a good exercise for us all. Our leaves are covered with quite a variety of things – everything from bacon to the grace of God! 

God has been hammering away at me this month; He’s so good to do so. Over the weekend, Josh, my sister Patti and I went to downtown Atlanta with some folks from our church to minister to the homeless community. There was a station handing out clothes, a prayer station, a medical station, a foot care station, a call home station, music, s’mores and chili. The three of us were on trash duty, which ended up being a lot of fun. We got to mingle and talk with people the whole time. I kept thinking about Grace, a homeless woman that I got to know when I worked in Cleveland. One thing I learned from her was that a lot of people who are homeless just want to feel human. They want to be looked at in the eyes, called by name and talked to. I was so humbled when the man singing asked “Who here has something to thank God for today?” and I watched almost everyone put their hands up. That's a moment I hope to recall when I feel like complaining. I’d like to challenge us all to do more than just write a check to charity this Christmas season. Let’s get our hands dirty. Let’s form relationships. Let’s give of our time, talents and treasures without concern for recognition and without worrying about how others may spend our gifts. Let’s be true followers of Jesus, imitating Him and living out His gospel. He chose a humble beginning in a dirty manger, and He spent much of His time on earth among the poor. We have so much to learn from His example and from the poor themselves. Sure, we can give ourselves a gold star for an annual good deed performed; but if we are truly following Christ, caring for the least of these will become a lifestyle pattern - part of our DNA, if you will. That cuts me right to the heart. Being the bookworm I am, I have to plug a book here too. One of my favorite books (co-written by a man who was homeless) is Same Kind of Different as Me written by Denver Moore and Ron Hall. You just HAVE to read it; that’s all there is to it. 

Every year around this time, I’m especially reminded to take an inventory of my affections and priorities. I just pray that I will focus on what is lasting and eternal and continually throw off the hindrance of “stuff.” This month, I am being schooled by my six year old. One night, I watched Sydney bring her piggy bank downstairs and empty all of its contents into our adoption change jar. For her birthday party this month, she asked people to bring canned goods for MUST ministries rather than gifts. She was so excited when that food filled our whole trunk and we drove it down there. Then, I took her to Target a couple weeks ago with $10 she had received from a family member for her birthday, and she gave $5 of it to her brother to spend. I don’t know about you, but she’s putting me to shame lately. It makes me feel a little better that she is still trying to come to grips with the fact that she will no longer have her own sink when her sister arrives! ;) Most days, she is still her bossy little self who struggles with self-control, but I am so grateful to see the work Jesus has begun in her little heart. Aren’t you thankful that God is not finished with us yet? I know I am. 

Blistered Knees

God is so faithful! Our first fundraiser was amazing! Thank you to all those who donated goods for the garage sale and treats for the bake sale. We raised $817 total in just two days! Not only that, but I was so encouraged by all the folks I met and was able to talk with this weekend. I met over a dozen families that had adopted children, were in the process of adopting or were adopted themselves. Talk about confirmation from the Lord - wow! Several families didn't even want to buy anything; they just came by to donate after seeing our sign, because they believe in adoption. The event was so successful that we plan to host another sale in a few months. We still have lots of nice items to sell, and we'll offer families a great opportunity to unload some things after the Christmas season! Let me know if you live out-of-town and would be willing to host a benefit garage sale or bake sale on our behalf - I can give you lots of tips and would be happy to help however I can!

We also had our first home interview with our social worker last week. She is so sweet! Isn't the bond between Christian brothers and sisters amazing?!? She was family before she walked through our door. ;) Our interview mostly covered the topics of our marriage and our children, and we also did a safety walkthrough of our home. Our next interviews will be done individually with our social worker, and they will be based off our autobiographies which we are busy writing. I've answered about half the questions so far, and mine is over 11 pages typed. I hope she likes to read! ;) What a fruitful exercise that has been for me, though. It has given me opportunity to recount the blessings I've received from God, as well as praise Him for the trials which have come through His hands that have shaped my character and prepared me for the work He is calling me to.

During our home interview, our social worker seemed a little surprised and very excited about our "experience" in terms of dealing with ill children. It seems clear that God has prepared us to adopt a child with medical special needs. From the time our first child Sydney was born, we have experienced many an illness with our children. Sydney was born with jaundice, which is fairly common and of which I was already familiar. Sure, I didn't like taking my baby to get pricked in the heal daily or have her wrapped in blue lights all day - but this was no big deal. She also had a very a large hematoma on her head, due to a very traumatic delivery. It was amazing to watch that heal as quickly as it did - praise God, our marvelous Creator! At 3 weeks old, Sydney was admitted to a children's hospital for a high fever. She was vomiting, inconsolable, would not nurse and had a temperature of almost 104 degrees. We were at the hospital for a full week, undergoing countless tests (including an excrutiating spinal tap) and praying over our very sick baby. After the doctors determined that it was a stomach virus and she began to improve, we were sent home. A week or so later, our baby was clearly having trouble breathing. She seemed stuffy and began wheezing. We took her to our pediatrician, and she tested positive for RSV. Her oxygen level was concerning, but our amazing pediatrician agreed to keep her out of the hospital as long as we were willing to bring her in once or twice a day to see her. The next six weeks were filled with breathing treatments on the nebulizer every 4-6 hours and trying to get her to eat enough. It was survival mode for these new parents. Sydney pulled through, and our hearts were filled with thankfulness. Since then, poor Syd has been to almost every kind of specialist you can imagine. Our poor baby has had such a rough start - heart murmur, allergy to dairy and soy, pneumonia twice, scarlet fever, roseola, strep throat twice, sleep apnea (and resulting behavior issues), surgery to remove her very enlarged tonsils and adenoids, severe seasonal allergies and related allergy shots, etc. I have to tell you, it's been quite the ride! 

Our son Brody has not had as many medical issues, though he has also had some. He was born with a tongue tie and had trouble nursing, so he had a frenectomy when he was a few days old. Again, amazing to see how God designed our bodies to heal so quickly. He was also born with hip dysplasia, so we made many trips to the pediatric orthopedic doc. Brody soon became one of those babies who never seemed to stop screaming - clearly he was in immense pain...especially shortly after nursing. I could not drive anywhere, because the car seat especially aggravated his condition. He could not lay flat to sleep at night. We soon determined that he had GERD and a sensitivity to dairy. Brody also has a significant astigmatism in both of his eyes, requiring him to start wearing glasses at age 2. He's all the cuter for it, in my opinion! ;) 

There has been nothing smooth or easy about having children for Josh and I, though I know other families have experienced trials much more severe with their little ones. We understand what it is like to have sick children and what it is like to lose a baby; but we have also been so utterly blessed to have a supportive, loving family and church families to surround us with prayer and practical help over the years. Grandparents flying to wherever we lived, church family praying and bringing us meals, and wonderful, amazing medical professionals - some of who also showered us with prayer. And, oh, what a blessing these little ones have been to us! My kids crack me up everyday, and they cause me to praise God. They are greatly responsible for these blistered knees, and God uses them to teach me often. On this side of the struggles, we can clearly see God's goodness in preparing us for His purpose and plan for our lives. In our weakness, He has been our strength and our joy. We have prayed and continue to pray for our idols to be crushed and for our lives to display His glory. Following Jesus is so much more than sitting in a pew on Sunday. We desire for our lives to be an anthem of worship to our God. God has used our trials to clear the stage of our hearts - our hearts have been stirred, rocked and broken. I'm embedding a video below about this very thing from one of my favorite musicians, Jimmy Needham. It's worth your time, trust me. 

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through Him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." (Romans 5:1-5 ESV)

We may not always understand our struggles, but if you are in Christ, you can have confidence that He will use them for His glory and for your good (Romans 8:28)! And we have the promise of His strength  in the midst of the trials - read Philippians 4:13 and understand the context of this verse. We can ENDURE all things through Christ who gives us strength!

Beginning Our Adoption Journey

Let the home study (and the fundraising) begin! For those of you unfamiliar with the adoption process, a home study is a series of interviews/visits with a social worker, for the purpose of evaluating our fitness as an adoptive family, educating/preparing us for the adoption and gathering information about our family to help match us with a child whose needs we are able to meet. We had our Orientation Interview with our social worker this week, and she said the home study generally takes 3-6 months. She also assured me she will leave her white gloves at home when she comes to our house for the next interview! Phew! We are just really anxious to get started. There’s also a lot of practical tasks/paperwork to start on – fingerprinting, background checks, etc. That stuff is right up my alley. I know, I am one sick nerd. I could do paperwork all day, especially if there is a cup of coffee nearby.

It’s been so exciting to watch how the adoption is impacting Sydney and Brody (our children already in the nest). Brody is 2 ½ so his understanding of the situation is limited, but when I asked him if he was ready to have another sister – he said “YES! And a brother!” Maybe next time, sweet Brody. ;) Sydney is almost 6, and she is about as excited as she can be. She is anxious to know what it’s like to have a sister, and we’ve already had several talks to make sure she knows it will not be all sunshine and roses. However, having two dear sisters of my own, I know what a special bond that can be, so I am excited for her too. She has been asking me to do extra chores this week, and when I give her some coins for the extras…guess where they go? Yep, straight into the adoption fund jar! God is growing a very generous heart in her, and I love to see His work in the lives of my children.

Speaking of the adoption fund jar, we made the first installment of our agency fee this week. It completely wiped out our savings, but we are so thankful to have had the funds to get started. Now we have a few months to do some fundraising, creative saving and extra work to come up with the next installment. If you have a desire to help bring a little girl home into a family that will love her forever, we would be so humbled and honored! Josh and I absolutely loathe asking people for money, but we are also aware that we need to swallow our pride and allow God to bless us through the generosity of His people. There is a little girl in China that is waiting for us. We don’t know her name or her face yet, but she is there. She needs a forever family, a home, special medical care, love – and like all of us, she needs to know of Jesus. We are anxious to provide her with those things, but we cannot do it alone. Our little girl is more important than our pride. Our family would be eternally grateful if you would be willing to be involved in changing the life of one little girl - our little girl - forever. Here are some ideas for how you can be a part of our adoption:

~ PRAY! Pray for orphans in general, our little girl specifically, our family, our fundraising efforts, etc. Pray that God would take our “loaves and fishes” and multiply them for His glory through this adoption.

~ We will be having a garage sale at my Mom & Dave’s house (see Upcoming Event info in the sidebar) on October 19-20th with all the proceeds going toward the adoption. Sydney will have a bake sale there too. ;) If you are local to the Atlanta area, we would greatly appreciate any goods you may have to donate to the sale (prior to October 17^th). We’d be happy to pick them up too! If you don’t have any goods to donate, come shop the sale! If you live out of town, might you consider gathering donations from your friends/church/workplace and hosting a garage sale on our behalf? 

~ Collect your change! This would be a great way to get your little ones involved too. Sydney and I would be happy to roll your coins and take them to the bank! If you are out of town, you could just collect them and then send a check. Seriously (which is Sydney’s favorite word these days)…ANY amount is helpful! Do you work somewhere that may be willing to put a donation jar near a register or in a break room? Here is a link for a label I designed that you can wrap around a collection jar! We used a glue stick for ours, and it fits perfectly around 3 sides of a large glass mason jar.

~ I’m also going to start working on making some goods to sell for the adoption. I will keep you all posted when those are available. If you have your own business, would you consider having a benefit month for our adoption – where a certain % of your sales would be given to fund the adoption? We would be happy to plug your goods during that benefit month via word of mouth, on our facebook pages and on this blog!

~ Give. Maybe you just simply want to give a donation. No complaints here! ;) Contact us and we’ll get our address to you, so you can just drop a check in the mail. We have also added a “DONATE” button to this blog to give through Paypal. As a disclaimer - when you give through Paypal via a credit card, there is a 2.9% charge plus a $.30 transaction fee. So, there’s a small cost to us for that convenience, but go for it, if it’s worth it to you. There is another option as well called Popmoney, powered by Josh’s employer Fiserv, which only charges a $.95 transaction fee. Popmoney allows one-time transfers up to $500 directly from your checking account/debit card to our checking account. It is totally secure and very easy to use. Let me know if you are interested, and I will get the information to you. And this Momma CPA wants to make sure you know these gifts are not tax-deductible (unfortunately). We may be able to participate in a matching grant program in the future which would allow for that, but we have to have our home study completed first. 

~ Have any other ideas? We would love to hear them!

And for my fellow visual peeps out there, I’m including the following video that was put together for Orphan Sunday, which is coming up on November 4, 2012. It happens to be set to one of my all-time favorite songs (you should hear Sydney belt this one out in the car)!

Orphan Sunday 2012 from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

A Growing Pack

Our family is SO excited to announce that we have begun the process to adopt a child from China [insert girlie squeals]! We joyfully anticipate bringing our child home to join our family, but we know it is going to be a long and challenging journey. We know it will be worth the paperwork, the fundraising, the home study, the ups and downs, the wait, the travel, and all the challenges and sacrifices that come with having a child. Why? Because we love this child already. We love her with the same love we have for our two children who are already under our roof and our baby who is already with the Lord. We are committed to loving this child forever without condition.

I decided to start this blog for a few reasons. It is our desire to share with others what God is doing in our lives (and around the world) and to proclaim His goodness and glory. We also hope to encourage our sisters and brothers in Christ to be sensitive to the stirring of their hearts toward adoption and orphan care. Lastly, we want to keep our friends and family informed, so they can be a part of bringing our child home.  

God first stirred my heart toward adoption as a teenager. I was blessed to have the opportunity to travel to Brazil and Peru on mission trips with my church youth group. Our projects varied, but my heart most deeply ached for the children at the orphanages we visited. I wept to leave those children. I wanted to take them home with me, never mind that I was only 15. While in Brazil on June 21, 1996 I wrote in my journal, “It was the most emotional day of my life thus far. It was our last day in Assis. Our last day to see and spend time with the children who had captured our hearts. Almost everyone was sobbing and wailing uncontrollably. It was tough. I cried SO much.”

When my husband Josh and I began to discuss marriage, international adoption was one of the topics that came up. We agreed that adoption was something we would most likely pursue in the future. We’ve been married for 9 years now, and this year, our desire to adopt heightened tremendously. We have moved around quite a bit since we married, but we are finally settled into a home we anticipate staying in. We live close to some of our family now, and Josh finally turned 30 this summer (the minimum age to adopt from China)! We both agreed it was time to start the process – however long, however hard, however costly. Josh immediately had a feeling we’d adopt from Asia, but we did our research and took some time to pray and seek the Lord’s leading as to where we should pursue adoption. Once we felt drawn towards adopting a child with special needs, China was just it.

In this first post, we wanted to take the time to answer a few questions that many of you might have, so here goes:

1. Why are you adopting even though you are capable of having biological children? We don’t see adoption as simply a Plan B for couples who cannot conceive. Adoption is beautiful in and of itself, because it demonstrates the heart of God and is central to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Adoption is part of our story as followers of Christ (Galatians 4:4-7; Romans 8:15-17; Ephesians 1:4-6), and we eagerly await the full experience of our adoption when our groaning will cease (Romans 8:22-23). We also love that adoption is a positive, loving way to live out our undeniably pro-life convictions.
2. Why China when there are children in the U.S. that need families? We love adoption, both domestic and international. There are over 143 million orphans worldwide – just stop and think about all those faces – how can we not be wrecked into action? There are hundreds of thousands of orphans in China – many due to the one-child policy or because the children have some sort of special need. In our opinion, there’s not a bad place to adopt from. Where there are children without a family willing and able to love and care for them, there is a need. I love how Russell Moore puts it in the book Adopted for Life, “What better opportunity for you to model the God who adopts from every tongue, tribe, nation, and language and sets all the children together at the same table with the same inheritance and the same love?” We desire to have a family that displays the glory of God and the beauty of the gospel in this way.
3. How do you plan to fund this adoption? You may be surprised to know that the cost for a domestic or an international adoption is about the same – roughly $30,000. Wow, that is A LOT of money for this girl whose wardrobe comes from Goodwill. But here’s a “fun” fact for you that I find rather distressing - $27,000 is the cost of the average wedding in the U.S. today. In NY, the average is over $65,000. A big party that lasts one day versus changing a child’s life forever. Let’s chew on that together. You also may not realize that when you adopt, that money is NOT used to buy a child. The funds go toward agency fees, the home study, citizen/immigration fees, travel, medical reports, orphan care, dossier fees, etc. It’s a long process that requires a lot of paperwork, coordination and funds. We are committed to stepping out in faith, knowing that God will provide where He guides, and doing everything we can to save money for this adoption. We are excited to see and be humbled by God’s providence through this journey. We’ll be doing some fundraising projects along the way (start saving your change if you want to help!), applying for grants, hoping that the adoption tax credit doesn’t go away after this year, and preparing to go into debt if necessary. After all, can there be a better reason to go into debt than to give a child food, shelter, an education, unconditional love from a forever family and daily exposure to the gospel? We can’t think of any.

We would be honored if you would pray for our family, including our child-to-be. We are praying that God would be glorified as He provides the funds and prepares us for the journey ahead. We eagerly await bringing this little one home, while gaining an even greater understanding of Christ's love for us and our own adoption into the family of God!