Anticipation

In roughly 8 hours, we will meet our daughter Rebecca Fei for the very first time. In some ways, Becca joining our family will not be unlike a child joining one's family through birth.  We have dreamed of holding her for many long months. We have prayed for her. We have wondered at the future plans God has for her precious life. We have prepared our other children to welcome her into our family. We have prepared a room for her in our home. But in other ways, her story is completely different because she is joining our family through adoption.

Her story began with tragedy, as all adoptions do. Becca Fei has not known the love and security of a family for her first 3 1/2 years. There are so many things we don't know about her past and may never know. We don't know why her birth family was unable to care for her and her medical needs. We don't know what desperation they must have felt. We don't know their family traditions or even what they look or looked like. But, we do know that she was found, and we are so thankful that her little life was preserved. We know that God has a plan and purpose for her life, and He has chosen us to play a part in her story. It will be her story to tell, but we hope and pray that she will see God's hand on her life; that she will see His good plans and purposes for her; that she will see the love, healing and beauty that only our God can bring from brokenness. HE is the only hero here. 

Josh and I marveled again on the plane ride over at how much you can fall in love with and yearn for someone you've not yet met. Oh how we've missed her since we first saw her face!! We know the road ahead may be long and bumpy. She will grieve. She may fight. She will struggle. And, we will not be perfect parents, but we will choose to love her. We will come to Jesus each day in our brokenness and ask Him to make us whole. We will look to Him as the ONLY one who can rescue, the ONLY one who can love perfectly. We will draw from His well for strength, compassion and love. Because, we simply cannot do this parenting thing (or anything else good or worthy) on our own.

I woke up this morning at 5AM China time, and there's no way I'm getting back to sleep! I had brought a book with me called Praying the Scriptures for Your Children, and began reading it, along with Isaiah 40. I am praying the following verses for Becca Fei, and I would love it if you would do the same.

(10) Behold, the Lord God comes with might, and His arm rules for Him; behold, His reward is with Him and His recompense before Him. (11) He will tend His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs in His arms; He will carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those that are with young. (12) Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand and marked off the heavens with a span, enclosed the dust of the earth in a measure and weighed the mountains in scales and the hills in a balance?...(26) Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name, by the greatness of His might and because He is strong in power not one is missing. (27) Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel: "My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God"? (28) Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable. (29) He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength. (30) Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; (31) but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Lord, You promise to tend Your flock like a shepherd. Gather Becca Fei like a lamb in Your arms and carry her close to Your heart. And, just as You promise to gently lead those that have young, teach us, as parents, how to love and guide and care for Becca Fei.

Travel Approval!!!

Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens,

Your faithfulness to the clouds.

Your righteousness is like the mountains of God;

Your judgments are like the great deep;

man and beast You save, O Lord.

How precious is Your steadfast love, O God!

The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of Your wings.

They feast on the abundance of Your house,

and You give them drink from the river of Your delights.

For with you is the fountain of life; in Your light do we see light.

Oh, continue Your steadfast love to those who know You,

and Your righteousness to the upright of heart!

-Psalm 36:5-10 ESV

We are heading to China!!! We got our Travel Approval on Tuesday, and we got a confirmed Consulate Appointment at 1AM this morning (b/c the amazing staff at our agency does not sleep)!! Lord-willing, on 11/11, we will hold our Becca Fei for the very first time! We will finally get to hear her voice and study her little hands and feet. We will be able to try to comfort her as she grieves all that is changing. We will start to teach her about our great God and who we are as a family. Her family. And the world will have one less orphan. Praise Jesus!

Last weekend, our sweet sisters from church threw Becca Fei the most beautiful "toddler" shower I've ever seen. These ladies down here in the South sure know how to plan a party!! The ladies of our church truly value and praise Jesus for every human life, and they throw a celebration for every single child that joins our church family through birth or adoption. One tradition our church ladies have at the end of every shower is to surround the mother and spend some serious time in prayer. The prayers that were sent up to God that day - on behalf of our family - brought me to tears. Overflowing, grateful tears. We are so thankful to God for the church family and community He has brought us to!

After abundant blessings from our church family and friends, 

we now have Becca Fei's room all ready!

I've only been awake for two hours, but my cheeks are already feeling the burn
from the perma-smile plastered onto my face!!!
Hence, the overuse of exclamation points!!!!! Get used to it, folks!!

God is SO faithful!!! 

What To Expect

The latest on the adoption front: our Article 5 wait has been delayed one week because of a Chinese national holiday, so we are expecting our wait for Travel Approval (Step 13 below!) to begin on Tuesday or Wednesday of next week! We’ll keep you posted on that.

I am trying to heed the advice of our agency and treasure this next month or so. For, it is a gift. It truly is. Each and every day. Things are about to drastically change in this family of ours, and I want to enjoy every last moment as a family of four. I want to pour into Sydney and Brody until their cups overflow. I want to enjoy date night and six hours of uninterrupted sleep with the hubster. It’s most likely going to be a while before we return to a state of normalcy ‘round these parts. Let me explain.

In earlier posts, I’ve alluded to the fact that we’ll be working on bonding/attachment. Through the training and reading we’ve done, we have learned SO many fascinating things about how God has designed babies! Attachment between a parent and child occurs over time when a baby has a need, communicates that need and then has it met by a consistent caretaker (usually Momma Bear). As Momma repeatedly soothes the child and meets his/her needs, safety and trust are developed. This security forms an emotional foundation for learning, development, growth and future relationships. These children have a foundation for trust and empathy towards others.

Children who come home through adoption have a little different journey. They have already experienced the loss of a biological parent(s), whether through death or other means. They are coming from a very traumatic place. In addition, our Becca will be losing her caretakers from her current orphanage, along with the familiar sights, smells and language of China. Since she is 3, she is going to be keenly aware of all these differences. We are expecting our little one to be quite overwhelmed. She will be taking in so much that is new, as well as learning what a family is and what it means to be a part of one. She may struggle with attachment, security and trust for several months (or more). There is good news, though! Children are able to heal from these emotional wounds. They are able to build attachment, but it takes intentionality and time.

The very best way for us to form a parent/child bond is for Josh and I to be the only ones to hold, snuggle, instruct, soothe and feed Becca for the first several months. As this pattern repeats, she will learn that we are her parents, and she can trust and love us. I know this is not going to be easy – for us or all of you that will want to hold her and love on her as soon as we get home! We have never parented this way, so it’s going to be a challenge for us to have to tell so many folks ‘no’ when they want to hold her. But, research shows that it’s very important to recreate the newborn/parent connection. Once that parent/child bond has been formed, then we’ll be able to take baby steps toward other relationships. We’ve been advised to make life as boring as possible for the first few months – lots of routine, lots of time in our home, and very limited social activities. Please understand that our decisions are based on what we truly believe is best for Becca’s healing and long-term development, backed up by research and advice from adoption mentors. Also, remember this is temporary! Once we’ve reached some attachment milestones, we will be out and about!

We want all of you to know what to expect when we get home, as well as what would be appropriate/beneficial in terms of your interaction with Becca. Our agency has given us some tips for Do’s & Don’ts for family and friends, and we’d like to share them with you below.

DO’S

• PRAY!! Pray for Becca’s transition, as well as the rest of our family. Pray for a deep attachment. Pray that we will not lose our sanity, as we cocoon! I am an on-the-go sort of mom. I start to go bonkers after two straight days in the house, so this is going to be a BIG challenge for me.
• Encouragement: Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to give an adoptive family space. You can still express care through cards, a meal, emails, etc. We just won’t be throwing any parties for a while (at least after the airport party)!
• Direct Becca to us. For example, “let’s ask your mom if that’s OK” or “I bet your daddy would like that; why don’t you show him?”
• Care for Sydney and Brody. This is going to be tough for them. They will also be transitioning and will need attention and encouragement. Make them feel special and important.
• Read and educate yourself about attachment parenting and share this with others. Heck, even with us! We’re still learning!

DON’TS

• Physical interaction with Becca: Children coming from orphanage settings can be prone to attach too easily with anyone and everyone. This hinders the important child/parent bond from developing. For a while, Josh and I need to be the only ones holding her. We ask that you do not try to take her from us or excessively give hugs and kisses. You may give her quick hugs and kisses, while she remains in our arms. Waving, blowing kisses, high fives are totally appropriate and welcomed! We want Becca to know you are trusted family and friends.
• Meeting her needs: Children from orphanages can become overly charming toward adults as a survival mechanism. We want to avoid this indiscriminate attachment/affection, as it would really set back our family bonding and can have far-reaching affects as she grows older. If Becca needs food, a drink, affection, or comfort, please allow Josh and I to meet those needs. This is necessary for her to begin understanding that we are her parents.
• Gifts: If you want to give a gift to Becca, please ask us first. We’ve been advised to give her all gifts from our hands for the first few months home.
• Comparisons: Please do not compare to biological parenting. Attachment parenting is, in many ways, opposite of traditional parenting. Please trust and respect our choices.
• Assumptions: Don’t assume Becca is “relieved,” “grateful” or “excited” that she’s been adopted. This is a life-altering difficult transition for many of these children.

Our family, friends and community have been such a blessing to us throughout this entire process. We have felt so supported and prayed over. We in NO way want our distance/boundaries to be taken personally or be surprising to any of you. That’s why I wanted to write this blog post. I hope it is helpful to you! Let me know if you have any questions!

Becca's Final Update

Everything is moving along!! Tomorrow, we expect our Article 5 to be dropped off in China, and we'll wait exactly two weeks for that process. Then we'll begin our wait for Travel Approval (TA) from the CCCWA. That should only take a few weeks, and then we'll get our Consulate Appointment and start booking all our travel!! Josh and I could be traveling in just 6 weeks or so!! We're getting really anxious, obviously, but we are trying to stay busy and enjoy each precious day that we have from the Lord. We know there are significant challenges ahead and probably many sleepless nights in the near future, so we're trying to prepare ourselves (and Sydney and Brody) as much as possible. We were able to get a letter to Becca last month. I hope it made sense to her, and I pray that she is getting lots of chances to get familiar with our faces through the photo album we sent a while back. We expect this to be a really tough transition for her. She is 3 years old, and institutionalized living is all she has ever known. She is not going to understand what a family is and will have absolutely NO idea what we are saying in English. We expect she will experience a grieving period, as she leaves the people who have cared for her this past year and the kids she has lived with for so long. We don't expect her to understand that life is about to change for the better, as she enters a forever family. As far as she knows, we are going to be two strangers who don't look like her and don't speak her language. So, please pray with us for Becca and our family as we enter a time of VERY intentional bonding and attachment. I have no doubt that God is going to do great things, because that is what our great God does! In Sydney's own words from tonight, "Something bad happens, and then BOOM! God just turns in right around." Beauty from ashes. I am so excited to see God transform the life and story of our precious Becca Fei, and we are just so thrilled to be first-hand witnesses! 

This afternoon we were SO excited to receive our final update from Becca's orphanage (final, what a beautiful word)!! This included her measurements so we have an idea of what size clothes and shoes to bring for her, as well as a couple of new pictures!! 

Is she not the most precious girl you've ever seen?!? Granted, I may be a little biased, but seriously...she is TOO CUTE! This is the first picture we've ever seen of her in a dress. ;) So sweet, even though I am really not a dress kinda girl. Be on the look out for more exciting news in the coming weeks!! Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement!!! We love you all!! 

Wonderful Deeds

"I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart;

I will recount all Your wonderful deeds.

I will be glad and exalt in You;

I will sing praises to Your name, O Most High."

Psalm 9:1

God is SO good. All the time. On our mountain tops and down in our deepest valleys. He is present, He is sovereign and He is purposeful. In joyful news of progress and in the long waiting, He has been with us and has done wonderful deeds. Our family has SO much to recount and praise Him for. As we wait on our I-800 approval and move closer to traveling, I am taking some time to reflect on this past year and what He has done. 

1. HIS PROVISION. God has stretched us in this area, but He has been faithful to provide our needs every step of the way. At one point last year, we had a payment coming up and did not have the funds. We literally had $12 in our checking account and our "Adoption Fund" savings account did not have enough to cover the payment that was due in a couple of weeks. I was beginning to worry, when we got a "surprise" check for an overpayment that we made when we closed on our house almost a year prior. Why do I worry, when I know that His eye is on the sparrow?? The check gave us enough funds to make that next payment! We dug our heels in and worked hard at fundraising, and God has rewarded us greatly. We are now almost fully funded for this adoption!!! Praise the Lord! For those curious, here's the breakdown of how God has provided the necessary funds:

Grants (incl. matching)  $8,000 Our personal funds  9,000 Wolfe Benefit Night  3,200 Paypal/cash donations  2,600 Garage/book sales  2,280 Sponsor-a-Block Quilt  900 RB jewelry  690 Other  450 Total raised  $27,120

2. GENEROSITY OF OTHERS. Fundraising...ugh...I DREADED the thought of it. But God turned our financial weakness into a glorious display of the generosity He has called His church to. Our community of friends and family - both those out of town and our local church family - GAVE. You gave generously and consistently. Once you knew of our need, you stepped in and cheerfully met it. Adoption is costly, but as the church grows to understand the corporate and individual call to care for orphans worldwide and then gives financially toward that mission...more families will be able to fulfill this call God has placed on their lives. Our largest fundraiser (and the most fun) was a Benefit Dinner, Silent Auction and Scavenger Hunt back in June. It recently dawned on me that I never blogged about our benefit!! Oops. I only posted about it on Facebook. There were SO many people that played an important role in making that fundraiser a success; the total amount raised was over $3,000!! Some extremely gracious, hard-working, talented folks from our church stepped up and put together the night for us - Karen Allen (catering), Mary Schneider (silent auction), Erin Richardson (scavenger hunt), Dave & Cathy Ocasek (venues) and Jeremy & Allie Brannon (childcare). Then there were all the folks who came, setup, donated goods, bid, watched kids, cleaned up, etc. Here is a link to the album of pictures from the night - SO MUCH FUN!! 

3. HIS CHOICE. When Josh and I first began looking at the Waiting Children lists, it was tough. I felt like I could be drawn to any number of these precious children, and we did not know what to expect. Would we "just know" when we saw her face? There were a few children that Josh and I requested more information on, and we took time to look through their files and pray for God's direction and choice. We received some great advice from our Lifeline Adoption Buddy and our Social Worker about the process. One morning, Josh called me from work and said "Yep, this is her. Let's move forward and see if God confirms or puts up a roadblock." We were not yet "logged in" with China, but in order to be matched with her, we had to be. Becca's file was set to go back to the Shared List before we would be logged in, and she would likely have been matched with another family at that point. Our agency requested an extension for us, and we received it just in time! I am talking literally days. We have fallen head over heals in love with this precious little girl that we now call Becca Fei!!

4. COMMUNITY. Thinking of our local church just brings me to tears. We LOVE our church family. They have been behind us 110% since we started this adoption journey. Our neighbors, our family, our friends, our agency, all the adoption folks we've met on the web....oh my goodness. God has shown up time and time again in this web of people we call our community! It seems like I can't leave the house anymore without God bringing someone into my path that is somehow tied to adoption!! It has been SO encouraging and uplifting. Just this week, I have connected with two moms who have little ones also waiting at Becca's orphanage!! The one mom and I even have pictures of our kids sitting right next to each other eating cake at Becca's birthday party that we threw! It's been so neat to see God connect so many dots in this process. Makes me smile ear to ear. 

5. HIS CARE. It is hard to live each day knowing that your child is not with you, but is instead living in institutionalized care half a world a way. To know that she needs medical care she isn't able to get and you can't yet provide it to her. But, God has given us peace in a variety of ways. First, we know that our little girl is first a child of God. He knows her needs and her hurts. He knows her heart. And He loves her more than is humanly possible. We have a peace that God is working to prepare her to join our family during this wait. He has a purpose and a plan, and He is for her. Second, we are blessed to know that Becca is in one of the nicest orphanages in the world! This is the second orphanage she has lived in, but we've seen pictures of the daytime facilities at this orphanage, which look similar to a daycare you would see in the U.S. That is a comfort to this Momma's heart. Lastly, she has already received some tangible care. Some of you have asked about Becca's special needs. She was born with cleft lip and palate, and also has some vision care needs. Her cleft lip was repaired when she was 18 months old through the Tomorrow Plan, but she will still need several surgeries when she gets home. But, we have learned that Atlanta has one of the most experienced craniofacial teams in the U.S.!! Oh, how wondrous God's care is!! And so many times, God's care comes through our obedience. So cool. As some of you know, our two bio kids require glasses, and Brody's eye doc happens to be Chinese. I cannot wait to take Miss Becca to see him!!! We will also have bonding, language and development to work on when she arrives home, and I LOVE that stuff. Bonding will be our first priority - more to come on that. I can't wait to get started!! ;) Our expectation is that Becca does not know a word of English, will definitely need speech therapy and is likely at about 18 months developmentally, due to being in institutionalized care for most of her life. Much to do, and I am so looking forward to seeing God work in all these areas.

God is SO good. I realize this is getting long, so let me cut to the chase for today...Praise Jesus with us! These next couple months before we travel, there are A LOT of things to take care of...I-800 approval, Article 5, Travel Approval, Consulate Appointment, travel vaccinations, travel planning and booking, wiring funds, getting Becca's room ready, etc. I have a feeling there are LOTS of all-nighters to come. Please continue in prayer for Becca and for our family, praising God for His goodness to us and praying for continued energy, heart preparations, protection, His perfect timing and a smooth process! We are so thankful to be surrounded with so much love and support!! As always, I am overflowing with gratitude. 

Say what?!?

This is what the mantle at the Wolfe house looks like today....do you notice those 3 little letters?!?!

We got a call from our social worker today that our agency received the hard copy of our LOA (Letter of Acceptance) from China today!! This was MUCH faster than we were expecting, since it has only been 47 days since we received PA. What's next, you ask? We will be waiting for USCIS to process our I-800, so the US Consulate in GZ can access our immigration approval and file and Becca's visa will be getting processed. Then we'll begin waiting for TA (Travel Approval). Got all that? ;) At this point, our best guess is that we could travel in just 2-3 months to bring Becca Fei home!! 

Earlier this month, we sent a photo album to her orphanage, so that she can begin getting familiar with our faces. I am so grateful that she now knows she has a family, and that we are coming for her!! Please be praying that God would continue to prepare her heart, and that the photo album might help Becca to recognize us and ease with her transition. (You can also pray that Brody gets potty trained...just throwing that out there. He will not go to K in diapers, he will not go to K in diapers, he will not go to K in diapers. OK, now I feel better.)

On a more serious note, there are families that we know going through this China adoption process who have been waiting three times as long as us for their LOAs. My heart just aches for these sisters and brothers, but I hold onto the hope that God holds time in His hands and has a purpose for His glory and their good. Please join our family in praying for these blessed families that God will sustain them until the appointed time when they are able to bring their little lambs home!

Introducing...

We are so excited to introduce you all to our precious little Rebecca Fei (aka Becca)....

We have officially been matched!!! I just don't have too many words right now, but we are just praising God over here in the Wolfe household! We have been waiting over a month to hear whether we had preliminary approval to adopt her, and we got the news this morning! Becca, here's a song for you, darling...praying that you would know you are oh so loved!!

"You weren't an accident. You weren't mass produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on the earth by the Master Craftsman." - Max Lucado

Press On & Wait

Here's the latest, folks! Our family received our Log-In Date (LID) from China on May 24th! Several weeks ago, Josh and I were praying and looking at lists of children who are ready and waiting for a family in China. There was a little girl we requested more information about, and we have sent in our Letter of Intent (LOI) for this precious little one! We're so excited to see if this is God's plan - if this is the daughter God is going to place in our family. The China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA) is the body that oversees the adoption of Chinese children. The CCCWA put a new database in place right after we sent our dossier to China. Unfortunately, there have been a lot of kinks needing ironed out with the new database, and everything has pretty much stalled at this point. Once things are up and running again, we hope to hear that we have Preliminary Approval (PA) for the little girl who God has laid on our hearts. Normally, PA is received about two weeks after the LOI is submitted; our LOI showed up in the system on June 7th, but with the database complications - we aren't sure when to expect to hear from China. We trust that God is sovereign over the timing and the outcome, so we press on, abide in our Refuge and wait! At this point, we know that we are (at the very least) to be praying for this child...so we will do what we know! Please pray with us (as we try to hold on to our sanity through this wait)! 

I have been working like crazy getting ready for our final fundraiser - see details on the sidebar! The event is this Saturday, and I am SO excited about how it is coming together! There will be a catered dinner, silent auction and scavenger hunt - thanks to several amazing people from our church family!! I can't wait to post about the event - hopefully next week! If you can't make it -- feel free to check out the Facebook album of silent auction items and then message me if you are interested in placing a proxy bid. We also got word last week that we received a matching grant, which is HUGE for us!! Praise God - He just continues to grow our trust in Him and His mighty provision!

The kids and I are enjoying a "low-key" summer, and we've started working on getting our daughter's room ready. We also wanted to share that we are planning to name our daughter Rebecca (and call her Becca). Rebecca was my great-grandmother's name and is my middle name. That side of my family actually used to call me Becca when I was younger. I have always loved the name, and I can't wait to pass it along! Becca's quilt "Treasured" was featured in a quilt show over the weekend (along with 350 others!), which was really fun. My Mom and I got the chance to tell several ladies our adoption story, too. Here's a couple pictures from the show! Thank you to all who sponsored a block! Hope you all are enjoying the summer so far!

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91:1-2, ESV)

Numbering Graces

In the last month, I had two friends recommend the same book  -- One Thousand Gifts written by Ann Voskamp. Last week when Brody and I were checking out at the library, that very book was sitting there, behind the desk ready to be re-shelved. So, of course, I had the librarian add it to our already abundant pile. I won't bore you with a whole book review here (if you want that, you'll have to friend me on Goodreads), but one thing this book did was refresh my perspective and encourage me to be totally present in the now. It's a particularly good reminder for me, as there is so much we are anticipating in the future. The book is centered around Voskamp's decision to take note of the little things and write a list of 1,000 things she is thankful for - gifts from God. She has been numbering graces for over a year and half by the conclusion of the book, having passed 1,000 long before. If you like to read, I highly recommend it - just be prepared that she is very poetic, and it may weird you out at times. ;) Regardless, Sydney and I have decided to embark on a similar exercise this summer....and I cannot wait to actually start putting ink to the page. We plan to pass all this waiting time by numbering some of God's infinite graces to us! 

Our biggest news lately was that our dossier was sent to China on May 13th!! Get ready for a whole bunch of crazy adoption acronyms...the first of which is DTC = Dossier to China. We are now waiting and praying for LID = Log-In Date. In the meantime, we had our first matching grant interview, and we should have much more news a few weeks from now -- as far as both funding and paperwork progress!!

We are absolutely thrilled to be surrounded by a church family who is so supportive of adoption, and part of our church family/sweet friends, the Brannon family, is hosting a garage sale fundraiser for us on Saturday June 1st!! I can't tell you how encouraging that has been to us...God is using this experience to show us what a burden is lifted when the Body of Christ comes together on mission. We also just finished up our Pampered Chef fundraiser today, and we raised $240!! Thank you, ladies!! Lastly, we are working on our final (what a blessed word that is!!) fundraiser - a benefit dinner, silent auction and scavenger hunt - which will take place on June 22nd! Please pray that God would smooth out all the details - there are so many graces to count surrounding this event already...more on this to come. As for the quilt, I only have the label left to stitch on, and I recently found out that it's going to be in an upcoming quilt show called "Georgia Celebrates Quilts!" It's my personal prayer that this may create opportunities for gospel conversations among friends attending the show!! Another wonderful support we've been blessed with is our local children's hair salon, Pigtails & Crewcuts. They have been collecting change for our adoption (and sharing our story) throughout the month of May! Too many graces to count...seriously, all the cups we own are running over at the Wolfe home. If you are ready to order more coffee from Just Love, use the coupon code "MEM10" now through Memorial Day and get 10% off your order!

I pray you would not miss God's graces to you today...SLOW DOWN and watch a child play, listen to the birds and the wind in the trees, savor the taste of the food He has provided, feel a drop of rain on your skin, take in the sweet smells around you...and give thanks to the Creator and Sustainer of all things. No doubt there are times we become blind to God and His graces to us, but we have a God who turns ashes into beauty. Miracles surround if we just open our eyes to see His goodness and glory. I'd like to close by sharing two quotes from the book I mentioned above; these I found especially meaningful, because these are graces that have been given to all who follow Christ, regardless of what circumstances surround you: "He washed our grime with the bloody grace. He drove the iron ore through His own vein...Need there be anything more?" and "Anywhere - in the kitchen scrubbing potatoes, in the arching cathedrals, in the spin of laundry and kids and washing toilets - anywhere I can have intimate communion with Maker of heaven and earth." Believers, as children who have been adopted into the family of God, we have the unfathomable graces of redemption, reconciliation and relationship with God...praise Jesus!!

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through Him, we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." - Romans 5:1-5 ESV

Why China?

I realize it has been WAY too long since I've blogged - so sorry, this is LONG. It has been slightly crazy around these parts as of late. Anywho, I've recently had several people ask me why we decided to adopt from China, so I've been inspired to blog about that this time. Then I'll close with an update on all our recent adoption happenings!

For as long as I can remember, I have been interested in, drawn to and burdened for other countries. Some of that may be in my blood. My Grandpa Thompson had an incredible "heart for the nations" (a phrase I am borrowing from my lovely cousin Hope). He and my Grandma traveled extensively (to more than 20 countries on 5 continents), preaching the gospel, training pastors and loving on children everywhere they went. Grandpa had a special love for orphans and children living on the streets. My parents also spent time living in Haiti on a mission/school project. My older sister Sharon actually spent her first year growing up in Haiti. Because my family had been so involved in international missions, I grew up with family friends from all over the world. What a blessing and privilege I consider that to be!! I have always had an adventurous spirit, so I was thrilled to take my first mission trip to Brazil during my sophomore year of high school. I was thrilled to see more of the world and to serve the people however I could. I didn't realize how much that trip would change me or how much I would be blessed. We visited a small orphanage in rural Brazil, and my heart has never been the same. I can still close my eyes and picture several children that I bonded with on that trip. Those images are tattooed in my mind. My heart was torn in two to leave those kids without a family. I still remember our bus pulling away, and just praying through sobs, "Lord, what can I do?" At that moment, I knew God was calling me to something more than "the American dream." David Platt expresses it perfectly in his book Radical, "We learned that orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they’re not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes.” Now more than 15 years later, I'm getting to see the beauty of God's work in my heart unfold. Oswald Chambers once said, "If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your heart." Broken heart, thankful lady...right here.  

When Josh and I first started pursuing adoption, we began talking about where we would adopt from. We are insanely systematic in our decision-making (just ask me about how we came up with our children's names sometime!), and we tried to talk and pray through every consideration. Our first inclination was international - mine, because of all the history I just finished telling you about, and Josh just had this overwhelming tug toward Asia from the get go. However, being the calculated, over-thinkers we are, we did a lot of praying and a lot of research. We first reached a clear decision on the adoption agency that we wanted to use (Lifeline Children's Services). Check out their website, and you may just melt like I did! What an incredible blessing they have been through this process!!!

What I think people are most curious about is why we chose China over domestic adoption. Obviously, this is not meant to discourage domestic adoption (or adoption from other countries); this is just the story of how our family came to adopt from China. We've said before - adoption is awesome, regardless of location! EVERY child deserves a loving forever family, regardless of where they happen to reside or what ethnicity they are. That being said, there is a dramatic difference in what domestic orphans are facing versus those in other countries. I'd like to share some statistics on international orphans mentioned in an article by the Adoption Law Firm: 

"In fact, out of the 167 million orphans, 120 million will never receive any education whatsoever. About 60% of these orphaned girls will become prostitutes, and 70% of these boys will become criminals by the age of 18. 10-15% of these children will commit suicide before the age of eighteen. Every year, 1.8 million are forced into human trafficking, prostitution, or the pornography industry, and 11 million will die of a preventable or treatable disease. These children have no chance at improvement. While orphans here are struggling, orphans oversees are dying."

Read the whole article, if you'd like more information about this. Internationally, children age out of the system very young (in China it is at 14), and they basically have nowhere to go at that point. Having seen and known personally what obstacles orphans face in other countries, I was all the more drawn toward international adoption.  We began speaking with a lady from Lifeline about different countries that they work in and devouring all the information. We knew that (at this time) we wanted to adopt a child close to our other two children in age (0-5 years), and we were open to and excited about children who needed specialized medical care (we've been through lots of that with our bio kids). We had not mentioned Josh's draw toward Asia, but she immediately thought China would be a perfect fit for our family. This being our first adoption, we were even more attracted to their program as we researched it further - it is established, predictable and stable. The fees stated are the fees charged...no hidden costs, no bribes, and they are reasonable compared to many other countries. It is also part of the Hague Convention, with laws designed to protect the rights of these children. The China program requires only one visit in-country (and only about two weeks long), which was great for us since we have two other littles at home. Orphans in China have literally been abandoned or removed from their homes, because it is illegal to place your child up for adoption there. China does a local search for birthparents and screen of each child prior to deeming them eligible for adoption, so custody is final. So, when both parents travel, the adoption is finalized in China. Every new piece of information we received just confirmed that China was where God was leading us; it was a great fit for our family. Again, it was a personal leading/calling because we have a personal God!! I hope this sheds some light on all those questions, but feel free to e-mail me if you have any others! Sydney and Brody are getting so anxious - they talk about her every day. We were at the zoo a couple weeks ago, and they wanted to take a picture in the bamboo. They are thinking of their sis and asking "Where are you? Come home!"

As for recent happenings, we have received our USCIS/Homeland Security approval from our biometric fingerprints!!! Now we are waiting on the consulate, then the next BIG step with be Dossier to China (DTC)! All the paperwork on our end is ready and waiting with our agency. We've begun to work with our matching buddy, too, which is REALLY exciting!! We'll be sure to keep you posted. We have also been approved through an organization call AdoptTogether, so that families can make tax-deductible donations towards the last half of our adoption expenses! See the link on our sidebar for our AdoptTogether page, and I also put together a flyer on the sidebar if you'd like to share our story with others. I have finished the quilt top, and I'm starting to practice on the longarm so I can quilt it this month.

We also sent in an application for one more grant, held a fundraiser at Panda Express and we're planning what I hope are our last few fundraisers. I am hosting a Pampered Chef party on May 16th (see details on the sidebar), awesome friends of ours are hosting a garage sale on June 1st in Acworth, and a really fun benefit dinner is in the works for June 22nd. More details to follow!! Let me be honest, I'm exhausted. Fundraising has been a full-time job, but it has also been a tremendous blessing to see God work through so many individuals and families to bring our girl closer to home! Thank you for buying a necklace, thank you for sponsoring a quilt block, thank you for eating egg rolls, thank you for handing us a check, thank you for donating books and other goods, thank you for volunteering your services, and thank you most of all for your prayers and encouraging words. We are incredibly blessed to be surrounded by such a supportive community of folks!        

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." - Philippians 4:4-9

Wholeheartedly Waiting

"If the Lord Jehovah makes us wait, let us do so with our whole hearts; for blessed are all they that wait for Him. He is worth waiting for. The waiting itself is beneficial to us: it tries faith, exercises patience, trains submission, and endears the blessing when it comes. The Lord's people have always been a waiting people." - Charles Spurgeon

So, we are waiting. We sent off our paperwork to immigration almost two weeks ago now. We know they received it, because they cashed our big fat check and sent us a letter saying so. Within the next week, we hope to receive an appointment from them for our biometric fingerprinting. Then we'll be back to more waiting! We sent all our other dossier documents to our agency last week, so they are ready and waiting for our immigration approval....then we will be "DTC" or Dossier to China! Then we'll be back to more waiting! And this is how it goes in the world of adoption. We signed up for this year plus of waiting and expected it, but some days it still seems SOOOO long. We're anxious to see our little one's face for the first time, to give her a name, to bring her home. I've been studying the book of Genesis with BSF International this year, and it's been so good for me to be reminded of all the patriarchs of my faith and how they had to wait (frequently decades) for God's perfect timing and fulfillment of His promises to them. I also remember a sermon by Gary Brooks (our pastor in St. Louis) from a couple years ago on "waiting." He spoke about some biblical examples of waiting, and how it's so clear that God values waiting and He wants His people to be a waiting people. You see it in almost every book of the Bible. Knowing this, I am excited to see what God does during our waiting period! While we actively wait, we've completed 6 adoption grant/matching grant requests; I mailed 4 of them off today! We probably won't hear news from those until late summer/early fall, but I'll keep you posted if we do. Most organizations have periodic deadlines and only make grant decisions a few times annually. 

On a side note, I wanted to share a coupon with you for Just Love Coffee. If you order from them through our link on the sidebar, part of the profits go directly toward offsetting our adoption expenses. This code is good for 10% of your order from now until April 8th! Just enter "KISSTHERIM" in the coupon code box at checkout. We also still have some beautiful handmade wooden cross clocks ($40), soaps ($3), scented wax tarts ($3), a 31 thermal tote ($15) and jewelry for sale ($24 - more jewelry coming in a couple of weeks) - just check out the facebook album HERE and HERE to see what is left! Also, Josh's dad (who made the clocks) is now making custom furniture, and he has offered to donate 10% of any orders to our adoption fund. If you have any interest, let me know - I'll get a brochure to you! 

Quilting has been another exercise in patience for me! This is only my second quilt top, and I'm so thankful to have my Mom teaching me! I have made quite a bit of progress lately. I finished making each of the 20 blocks, and now I'm working on piecing them together and getting all the borders ready!

  

We'll keep you posted on any further developments! If you are also in a state of waiting, be encouraged!!! God is faithful and is always at work. His plans will not be thwarted.

One Step at a Time

We had our second garage sale fundraiser over the weekend, and it was a great success! We could not have done it on a colder weekend, and there were snow flurries both days. In spite of that, we had steady traffic and raised over $1,200!! It was a lot of fun, too. We got to talk to about a dozen people who have either adopted, are in the process or who are involved in orphan care. We even talked to a few people who are praying about pursuing adoption! So exciting!! A great big THANK YOU to all those who helped in a variety of ways! 

Last week, we received a draft copy of our home study report, too!! We sent it back with a few minor changes and should get the final copy very soon. Thank you for persevering in prayer with us!! We are now one step closer!!!

I have been making progress on the quilt, as well. Here's a recent pic of the quilt blocks that I have finished, and I have another 4 blocks started.

We are still selling the pottery jewelry - I have 5 pieces from the new batch left (see the Facebook album HERE), and I should have more pieces in a few weeks. See the post "Jewelry, anyone?" for further details. Josh's parents and sister-in-law have also donated some items for us to sell to raise funds - solid wood cross clocks, handmade scented wax tarts and soaps and a couple of Longaberger and Thirty-one items. See pictures of the available items HERE.

We are so blessed to be a part of the Church, and we have seen the gospel in action all around us throughout this process. Our brothers and sisters in Christ have sacrificed time, goods and money to be a part of God's work in this world and in our family. We are so humbled to see God's hand in this every single day!!! Let us continue in this state of grace as we press on to a state of glory!! 

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality." (Romans 12:9-13 ESV)

Jewelry, anyone?

The necklaces are in, and they are beautiful!! We are selling handmade pottery necklaces by Rebekah Blocher. Rebekah has a heart for adoption and is using her talents to help families fundraise for adoption expenses. LOVE IT! She carves a Bible verse reference on the back of the pieces. Each piece also comes inside of a small bag that was handmade in China by Scarlet Threads, a fair trade boutique that helps seamstresses in rural China and Uganda to provide for their families in a safe, dignified manner.

We are selling each piece for $24 (plus $2 s&h, if required to be mailed to you). HALF of that money goes directly toward our adoption expenses!  The pieces are gorgeous and would make fantastic gifts - thinking ahead to Valentines Day, Mother's Day, graduation, etc. If you want to know what Scripture reference is on the back of a specific piece, or just to get a closer look - CLICK HERE to see the Facebook album with individual shots of the pieces remaining (I have a feeling I'll be ordering more very soon!). 

Thank you for your support!!

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

(Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV)

A Time to Sew

I am starting to make some progress on the quilt, and I just wanted to share a few pictures with you! I finished up two of the blocks last night. I think it's going to turn out so cute!!

Thank you again to everyone who sponsored blocks! All 20 blocks were sponsored in less than 72 hours, thanks to the outpouring of your generous hearts! We have finished up our home study meetings, too. We hope to have our completed home study report back in the next month, and we're preparing to start on our immigration paperwork. Meanwhile, we are still selling books online, coffee through our Just Love link and organizing our next garage sale fundraiser! The garage sale will be MARCH 1 & 2 - SAVE THE DATE! Let me know if you have anything sitting around collecting dust that you'd like to donate.

We are also getting ready to receive our first shipment of jewelry that we are selling as a fundraiser. The jewelry is handmade pottery by Rebekah Blocher. CLICK HERE if you want a sneak peak of what some of her jewelry looks like! It's really beautiful and would make great gifts! I will surely keep you posted as soon as that is available - should be later this week!

Let Your work be shown to Your servants,

and Your glorious power to their children.

Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,

and establish the work of our hands upon us;

yes, establish the work of our hands!

(Psalm 90:16-17 ESV)

God's Perfect Provision

In the middle of December, I was doing our finances and feeling a bit down as I looked at the balance in our adoption bank account. I knew our next payment would be coming up in January, and we just didn't have it...yet. I felt a little doubt creeping in. What if we didn't have the money when it came due? Would we have to put the adoption on hold? Worry was ready and waiting to consume my thoughts. But praise the Lord for the Spirit's sweet assurance, who called to mind the countless times that God has provided for our family. Josh and I have been through this before...the numbers just not working. We went through almost two years of making two house payments on one income. I'm a CPA, and I can tell you - the numbers were impossible. Impossible, ha! Luke 1:37 reminds us, "For nothing will be impossible with God." The truth of this verse is so real to me. God has proved it in my life time and time again. So, I told that doubt where it could go. ;)

That afternoon when I opened the mail, I found a check that I was not expecting this month. And wouldn't you know, it put us over what we needed to make our next payment! There was an error in our home escrow estimate, so we got a very large refund and an escrow payment for the coming year that is almost $100 less than we've been paying! I danced my little jig up the driveway, and I just shook my head - blown away again at how He perfectly provides for us. But you know how God is - just when you think He's blessed you, He just keeps pouring His grace out. A dear sweet neighbor of ours was moving that week, and I filled her in on our adoption. She asked if we would like some donations for our next garage sale fundraiser. And by "some" donations, I mean a TON of furniture, tools, etc. She just kept saying how thrilled she was that her garage sale hadn't gone so well, because it was God's plan for her to pass these things on to us. Again, blown away.

Just before Christmas, we started collecting used books to sell online for fundraising purposes. Our church family from Ohio was a tremendous blessing in their donations!! I am still getting them all listed online, and I'll be listing more as we receive them. If you have any books to donate, let me know! If you are interested in checking out our online bookstore, click here. Please pass it along to any of your friends and family that may be interested. We've priced everything very competitively - going for quantity here! 

$30,000 is a pretty "impossible" number for our one-income family, but we have been able to pay for every cost that has arisen - just in time. God truly provides where He guides! Our brothers and sisters in Christ have been abundantly generous - we have felt bathed in prayer, received over $800 worth of goods donated for our first garage sale (and lots more since that we are storing for our next sale), 10 boxes of books donated and over $700 from cash donations and Just Love coffee sales. A huge THANK YOU to all of you who have supported us along the way! We have enough to make our next payment now, but we will still have about $18,000 in remaining costs to come up with. We can start applying for adoption grants once our home study is complete; we are supposed to have our final home study meeting next week - so it won't be long! We'll keep you posted on that. In the meantime, we're fundraising away! 

Our newest fundraiser is a "Sponsor-a-Block." My Mom and I are going to be making a quilt for our daughter. My Mom has graciously donated the fabric, and we are asking for 20 people who would be willing to sponsor a block of the quilt for $25. We will be putting all sponsor's names on the quilt label. You can contribute via PayPal through the ChipIn widget on the sidebar, or you can send a check in the mail. If you want to pass along our ChipIn page, send friends to this link. Below I have put a picture of the quilt pattern we're doing and the fabrics we're using. I can't wait to see it come together!!

Please keep praying for our little girl! We also ask that you pray that God's hand will be upon our paperwork and our fundraising - we are confident that He will continue to multiply our loaves and fishes for His glory! We are praying regularly that He will bless you all.

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work." - 2 Corinthians 9:8 ESV